A New Direction

I turned 65 at my last birthday and I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will never have a successful career.  I have done a lot of different things successfully, don't get me wrong, but my career, as such, has been a haphazard shambles.

The biggest successes have been helping to found Countryside School, in order to meet the educational needs of my children - and numerous others.  The school is still doing well and I am happy about my contribution to its start.  I also am proud of the gifted program I ran for 5 years at Gifford School in Illinois.  Gifted education is no longer supported in Illinois and the gifted teacher/coordinator position was eliminated.  I chose to resign, rather than continue with a mishmash of part-time jobs, as teaching K-8 computer classes, 8th grade algebra, and 6th and 7th grade social studies was too much.  Other teachers may understand this: I had 31 different class preps per week, with NO repetition.  Plus I was responsible for all of the computer systems in the school (hardware and software) and the school's computer network.

I have found substitute teaching more interesting than I expected.  Even though it is discouraging to not be able to see much of a personal impact and it is even more discouraging to be paid so abysmally, I did enjoy visiting different schools and seeing different classrooms.  It is fascinating to me to compare schools (both physical layouts and staff), teachers, curricula, management styles, rules and expectations, and so forth.  There is a lot to think about as a sub.  Intellectually, the job is actually quite satisfying.

But, it is also very taxing.  One of my problems is my physical body.  I am arthritic and overweight and subbing is physically difficult - standing most of the day, bending over to help the younger ones, limited access to restrooms, cleaning up the classroom after the day is over.  Then, there is the emotional challenge.  Very few people seem to care that you are there.  Oh, they are glad that someone is there, they just don't care that it is ME (or grammatically, that that someone is I).  I feel more like a placeholder (Who are you today?) than a person.  At one school, I showed up for a job, but there was another person already there who had spoken with the teacher about it.  I could legally have insisted that the job was mine according to the rules of the district, but it was obvious that I was just an anonymous person and the other woman was REAL to them.  Unless you go regularly to one building only, that's what you are - an anonymous placeholder.

So, I am beginning to think of myself as retired.  I may still substitute teach, but I am more focused now on some other directions.  If you have been reading these occasional posts because you were interested in giftedness and/or education, this new direction may not be your cup of tea.  That is fine with me.

My current interest is in writing music.  It is another difficult field, but I am enjoying my beginning efforts.  So TTFN, as Tigger would say.

Money in Elections

The American election process has been bought.  By anyone who has money.  If you don't have money, your voice is worthless.  Your vote will still count, but unless you pony up money, the actual vote doesn't matter.  The jockeying for electoral position, the policy stances, the position statements are all decided well before the actual election.  Who gets to decide?  People with money.  Some candidates are beholden to a small number of people with a lot of money.  Other candidates rely on a larger number of people with more modest sums.  But no candidate caters to someone with only a vote and no money to back up that vote.

I care deeply about a number of issues.  I would love to contribute to causes that desperately need my money.  But I don't earn very much money as a substitute teacher - much less than it takes to live where I do.  My life style depends on my husband as the family earner.  Our history as a couple means that I don't feel bad about relying on him for basic support - food, shelter, clothing, and all those other necessities.  But it does mean that don't have my own money to contribute to causes I believe in.

Every time I sign a petition or write my representatives on behalf of causes I believe in, EVERY TIME, I am asked for money, money, and more money.  And the causes are always desperate.  Because, well, yes, this is actually a rather desperate time for some of the causes I believe in.  They aren't lying.  It is needed.  But I just can't contribute.  I don't have my own money.

So I feel shut out of the election process.  Without money, my voice doesn't mean much.  Why be interested in the outcomes, when even your side doesn't care - unless you have some spare cash to contribute?

I understand why some people just shut it out.  If you don't have money, you don't matter.  Why not just watch another celebrity's marriage fall apart or, here's an uplifting kitten video.  Have fun.

Explaining to a Skinny Person Just How Dieting Feels

Have you ever been REALLY, REALLY hungry?

Have you ever been REALLY, REALLY hungry for a whole day?

Now, imagine that you feel like that for a whole week.

Then, imagine how you would feel if you were told that you would have to feel that way for the rest of your life.

Then, imagine how you would feel if someone told you there was this great diet you could go on.  It works every time and you would NEVER feel hungry, again.  On this marvelous diet you can eat all of the cockroaches and eggplant you want.

Down Memory Lane 4 - Respecting Differences

A few years ago, I was flying from Dallas Fort-Worth to Denver.  On many such flights, people sitting inches from each other remain silent and just endure the crowded discomfort.  But, sometimes, you strike up a conversation with the person next to you - and it makes a lasting impression.  This was one such case.

I am not sure how the conversation got started.  Perhaps I was reading a children's book - something I do quite often.  At any rate, the younger woman sitting next to me and I got to talking.  She was a teacher; I had been a teacher and was currently a substitute teacher.  So we were discussing teaching and schools and school systems.  She was a devout Christian and taught in a private religious school; I am non-religious and have taught in private, public, and charter schools.  She was conservative politically; I am liberal-progressive.  In such situations, many topics are usually taboo.  We are, after all, in a situation where we will be together only briefly; why risk anger and accusations.  But we did anyway.  She was curious as to how people like me could support things like abortion.  She was interested in my reasons and actually respectful of them, even while disagreeing.  It turns out that she had gotten pregnant before marriage and had kept the baby (who had significant handicaps).  She couldn't imagine her life without him and couldn't imagine why anyone would get an abortion.  She believed in personhood beginning at conception.

My take on it is somewhat different from many liberal-progressives.  Yes, I believe that a woman should have control over her own body and her own health, which can be significantly impaired by pregnancy and childbirth.  But I also come at my views from an ecological perspective.  I believe that the current human population of the earth is well past the carrying capacity of our ecosystems.  We have altered the sustainability of many of those systems drastically, some beyond their capacity to recover.  [See articles about the Sixth Extinction, which some scientists believe is imminent.]  I think it is vital to our survival on earth that we do anything and everything we can to limit the population of humans on earth.

In addition, I believe that everyone should have the chance to live a life free from the devastating effects of hunger, lack of housing, lack of education, and lack of safety.  To live a life in such a manner requires a significant use of natural resources.  In other words, I would like to see it possible for anyone who works at it to live a life that was at least comfortably lower middle class, according to an American-style perspective.  With the world's current population, that level of consumption would exacerbate the current ecological problems.

One thing that I thought of later, that I have now added to my reasoning is that yes, she can't imagine life without her son.  But what about life without all of the other babies that she and her husband didn't have?  Most likely, since she and her husband had two children after they got married, they could have had more.  Do they miss the ones that they didn't have, due to birth control?  Do they miss the ones that she might have miscarried without even knowing it?  These potential children might have changed her life.  Does she miss them?  The answer is probably no.  Most women don't regret each and every menstrual cycle as a missed baby.

At any rate, it was a very respectful and interesting conversation.  I doubt if either of us changed our views much.  But it was encouraging to me to be able to have such a conversation.  I sometimes fear I am too opinionated to hear others out, but I think, in this case, both of us felt that we had been heard. So, I say, thank you to that anonymous woman.  Thank you for embodying the ability to disagree respectfully.

Cinderella, the Musical and Fat Shaming

This is a review of the musical as it was performed in Denver at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts.

I went to the matinee performance, so there were many little girls dressed up and getting their pictures taken by the wall poster of the stairway.  It was one of the highlights of the event for me.

The audience was, as might be expected, largely female.  I was sitting in a row that, except for a couple of men, was all women and girls.  In front of me, were six college age women, who seem to have come together.

The "book", as they call the play's script, has been changed some for this version of the Rogers and Hammerstein work.  There was a male protester, who was demanding better treatment of the poor people in the kingdom.  And the role of the advisor to the prince was to shield him from the fact that the plight of the poor was partly due to using the funds for the court.  The prince became a rather lost young man in search of a sense of self.  The fairy godmother was a vagrant, witchy woman - until she was transformed into an Oprah look-alike.

The plot also added the transformation of one of the sisters into a best friend of Cinderella's, when she decides to run off with the protester - reminiscent of both Wicked and Frozen.  It is the best girl friends model of musicals.

And the final meeting of Cinderella with the prince is the meeting of the protester, with his group of poor people, talking to the prince and the prince now finding his purpose in life - to make the plight of the poor easier and, incidentally, to also marry Cinderella.

All of these changes could have worked for me, had I not been expecting the original Rogers and Hammerstein work.  And they probably worked just fine for the audience that was substantially younger, for the most part, than I am.

But one thing has been bugging me and it is enough to jade my feelings about the musical in general. The other step-sister, the one who doesn't run off with the protester, is made up to be hideous.  She is fat and is dressed more gaudily than anyone else.  She is a perfect example of fat shaming.  Of all of the characters in the musical, she is the one who is made fun of, who is held up for laughs.  Two of the male characters are also hefty - but their weight doesn't mean they are held up for ridicule.

Just as a mind exercise, I have been imagining what would have changed, had the fat step-sister been the one who befriended Cinderella and who ran off with the protester.  It doesn't quite work.  It isn't funny enough.

And there we have it.  Making fun of fat people is funny.  We (and yes, I am one of them) are open game for laughs.

Down Memory Lane - 3

When I was 16, I went over to Germany as a foreign student with the Youth for Understanding program.  It was a wonderful year, which I may write more about over time, but one of the reasons it was so valuable was that it gave me greater perspective on the influence of culture.  In Iowa, I was part of a conservative, relatively religious family.  I went to church on Sundays, sang in the church choir, attended Sunday school, and even joined the church youth group.  My parents and grandparents voted Republican and were supporters of conservative government.  I remember going to a parade to honor Barry Goldwater.

But this was an era of change: Vietnamese War, civil rights, women's rights.  And as a teen growing up in that changing time, I was bound to change, too.  One of the interesting changes became apparent to me through song.  In the US, just before I left for Germany, The Ballad of the Green Beret was popular.

Ballad of the Green Beret by Barry Sadler

Fighting soldiers from the sky
Fearless men who jump and die
Men who mean just what they say
The brave men of the Green Beret

Silver wings upon their chest
These are men, America's best
One hundred men we'll test today
But only three win the Green Beret

Trained to live, off nature's land
Trained in combat, hand to hand
Men who fight by night and day
Courage deep, from the Green Beret

Silver wings upon their chest
These are men, America's best
One hundred men we'll test today
But only three win the Green Beret

Back at home a young wife waits
Her Green Beret has met his fate
He has died for those oppressed
Leaving her this last request

Put silver wings on my son's chest
Make him one of America's best
He'll be a man they'll test one day
Have him win the Green Beret

When I got over to Germany, I found that this tune was also popular. It was a while before I was able to realize, though that, far from being a pro-War song, in German, this song was very much ANTI-War.  The war at the time was the war in Viet Nam.  These are the German words.

Irgendwo in Fremden Land

1. Irgendwo in fremden Land

Ziehen wir durch Stein und Sand.

Fern von zu Haus und vogelfrei

Hundert Mann, und ich bin dabei.

2. Ein hundert Mann und ein Befehl

Und ein Weg, den keiner will.

Tag ein Tag aus wer weiß wohin

Verbranntes Land und was ist der Sinn?

3. Ganz allein in dunkler Nacht

Hab ich oft daran gedacht,

Daß weit von hier der Vollmond scheint

Und weit von mir ein Mädchen weint.

4. Und die Welt ist doch so schön,

Könnt ich Dich noch einmal sehn.

Nun trennt uns schon ein langes Jahr,

Weil ein Befehl unser Schicksal war.

5. Wahllos schlägt das Schicksal zu

Heute ich und morgen Du.

Ich hör von fern die Krähen schreien

Im Morgenrot. Warum muß das sein.

This roughly translates to:

Somewhere in Foreign Land

1. Somewhere in a foreign land
We pull ourselves through stone and sand.
Far from home and free for the vultures to pick us over
One hundred men, and I am with them.

2. One hundred men and one command
And a way that no one wants
Day in day out, who know where to
Burned up land and for what reason?

3. Completely alone in the dark of night
I've often thought
That far from here the full moon shines
And far from here a young girl cries.

4.  And yet the world is still so beautiful
If I could just see you once again
Now we are separated for a whole year
Because one command made our fate

5. Randomly fate strikes us 
Today on me; tomorrow on you.
I hear far away the crows shriek
In the red of dawn. Why must this be?

Once I understood the differences between these two interpretations of the song (same melody, different words), it made a profound difference in my thinking.  Intelligent, well-informed people could have diametrically different views on important subjects.  Another culture could completely reject some views that I held without questioning.  

It was a life altering realization for me and one of the reasons I think that travel is so important.  

Poll: Have You Ever?

It occurred to me this morning, not for the first time, but rather strongly, that many of the students I sub for have very different childhood experiences from what I had.  That isn't necessarily bad, but it needs to be taken into consideration when we teach them.  So here are some questions that stem from my childhood.

1) Have you ever climbed a tree and sat in the branches a few minutes?

2) Have you ever played in a creek and made a dam across it?

3) Have you ever made a tunnel in snow?

4) Have you ever raised a farm animal for food?

5) Have you ever helped preserve food from your family's own garden for the winter?

6) Have you ever known everyone who lives on your street?

7) Have you ever blown the seeds off of puffy dandelions?

8) Have you ever sat on a teeter totter?

9) Have you ever camped outside with no tent?

10) Have you ever spent most of the day outside without parent supervision?

Note: I am not saying these things are all necessary or worthwhile experiences - just different.  My own children would probably answer no to most of these questions.  Very different lives.

Hair Cut

I got my hair cut yesterday and this time, I went back to the inexpensive quick cut store that I had gone to back in August.  When I had been there in August, I knew that they had written down the information about my hair cut and I thought it would be easy now for them to just repeat the same hair cut.

I swim four times a week and, because my hair has just enough wave/curl to it that it manages to dry rather bizarrely, I generally blow dry it at the gym.  I tried growing it really long, so I could just let it dry by itself, but, at my age, long hair looks rather scraggly, so in August, I had had the long hair cut off.  Seven inches of it. 

[Did my husband notice?  No, but that is a topic for a different post.] 

At any rate, I had liked the August cut.  Long enough that I can tuck it behind my ears to get it out of my face, but short enough to turn under in the back.  So, I told the woman cutting my hair that I wanted the same cut that I got in August.  Imagine my surprise, though, when she said that the note about the hair cut in August said "cut 7 inches".  At this point, cutting off seven inches wasn't possible in most places and in others would have left VERY short hair.  Not exactly an appealing hair style - even for one as style-challenged as I am. 

So the question is, why would any hairdresser write "cut 7 inches" as the description for a hair cut?  How is that a helpful annotation?  Don't they usually write the target end product, e.g., ear-length bob?  At any rate, the hairdresser managed to figure out what I wanted and the hair cut is fine. 

I hope she wrote a better annotation than the previous person.  This hair cut cost $17 for me, since I am now a senior citizen.  The salon I went to a couple of years ago cost $85.  My needs are simple - I will stick with the inexpensive hair cut, even if I have to describe it for them each time. 

Women's Pajamas

OK, I know this isn't a normal topic for this blog, but I am thinking about it, so this is where it is going.

And, before I get too far started in this post, I want to mention that I am not talking about nightgowns.  I don't care for them, as they always end up twisted in a doughnut around my waist.  I am talking about pajamas, with some sort of top and some sort of pant-like bottom.

When I look for pajamas in catalogs or in stores, they NEVER have what I am looking for and I can't quite figure out why not.  In the summer, they show spaghetti strap tops with shorts; in the spring and fall, they show spaghetti strap tops or short sleeved tops with long pants; in the winter, it is long sleeve tops with long pants.  What I never see is long sleeved tops with shorts - and I am not sure why, because that is exactly what I want.   

There have been times - when our house wasn't air-conditioned, when I was grateful for spaghetti strap tops, but most of the time, I REALLY want my arms covered.  They are the part of me that is most likely to lose covering when I am sleeping.  My legs almost never stray from under the covers.  I have different bed coverings for the season, but I choose them so that they are the right weight for me, when I am under them.  This means, I don't need long pants in the winter.  Like nightgowns, long pants tend to wind up twisted in a doughnut - only this time around my knees.  The comforter keeps me nice and toasty and long pants also end up being too warm. 

But I need my shoulders and arms covered, for when the bed coverings slip down or I roll over.  How do women in spaghetti strap tops keep their arms warm? 

Years ago, my older sister mentioned to me that she bought men's boxer shorts for sleeping in.  I thought at the time that that was rather strange, but I now do exactly that.  I get men's boxer shorts, preferably knit, and a loose long-sleeved top.  I have found women's sleep sets where you can buy just the shorts, but the shorts are too skimpy - designed to be sexually enticing and not comfortable and durable. This is a solution, but I sometimes wish, just for my own perfectionism, that the two parts matched and were pretty. 

Taking Up Writing in Retirement

Recently, a friend of mine on Facebook posted someone's comment about being a writer.  The professional writer was offended, because the person said that, after their retirement, they planned to try writing a book.  The professional writer thought that was akin to them reversing the tables and saying that, after retirement, they wanted to take up brain surgery. 

I understand the reason for the feeling of offense.  The professional writer has taken years to master a very difficult craft.  They feel that those years are devalued when the newly retired person claims that they can write a book, too - as if all of those years of work by the professional are worth nothing. 

But, I feel the sting of the criticism, too.  5 years ago, I started writing music.  To the person who has been writing music for many years and honing their craft, this might be perceived as devaluing the number of years it took for them to get where they are.  But, for me, it just doesn't feel that way.  I am astounded that I can actually write a song.  I realize all too well that my songs, so far, have been simplistic and unlikely to appeal to a wide audience.  I am amazed that some of them have actually been enjoyed by several different audiences.   Rather than making me devalue the years professional song-writers spent to develop their craft, it has made me appreciate MORE how difficult it is to write a song that is really good. 

So, to the author who is offended that some totally inexperienced writer thinks s/he might want to write a book, I say:  let them go to it.  They will soon realize that good books are hard to write and they will appreciate your skill even more.

Mediocrity

So, now I am pondering some questions about me and writing music.  Is it worth doing something that probably no one will ever listen to?  Is it worth working at something when you will probably never be really good at it?  Is the enjoyment of actually doing it value enough?  What if that enjoyment is tinged with doubt? 

Dear Professional Fundraiser

Dear Professional Fundraiser,

I know it is your job to ask for money over and over again in any possible way you can imagine, but I have a suggestion for how your fundraising efforts might be more effective:  thank people for contributing and leave them out of your blanket emails for a while.  Your automatic thanks after contributions don't count.  Those aren't real thanks, they are just an acknowledgment of the contributions.  Do NOT follow them up immediately with requests for more money.  That makes the contributions seem worthless, as in, "We know you gave all the money you felt you could afford, but our cause will go down the tubes if you don't keep giving and giving and giving.  You are only good for us if we can keep begging you for more and more money."  I know the causes are urgent, but I, at least, already give more than I can afford - and I am giving less now, because I feel unappreciated.

And, be careful who you sell your lists to.  Good causes tend to proliferate.  I contribute to one cause and, like a hydra, three causes spring up in the same beast.  This actually dilutes your contributor base.  I cannot contribute as much to each one, so you get less or I may decide that your cause isn't as important as one of the other ones and you get nothing.

Email makes it easy to reach a lot of people quickly and easily.  Don't take advantage of it to bombard people with messages.  They may do what I have to do now - just delete them all.  Yes, I still believe in your cause, but I can't deal with all of the requests.  Be more selective.

Respectfully yours,

No, The Sky Is Not Always Falling

Money and Politics

My mother, who is now 99 years old, has been a Republican for most or all of her adult life.  Now that she is no longer able to take care of her own finances and is residing in a nursing home, all of the mail that used to be delivered to her former residences has been sent to me, since I pay her bills.  This includes the mail sent to her by the Republican Party.  At first, I tried to tell them to take her off of their lists, but this just seemed to encourage them.  I got more mail and phone calls wanting her support for Republican candidates and the Republican party in general.

I, on the other hand, am very liberal.  Back in my college days, I protested the war in Vietnam, even though my brother served there, and I supported the civil rights initiatives and women's liberation.  Until recently, I considered myself independent, because I am not much of a joiner, but I have been startled by the politics of the Republicans, and have recently become a Democrat.

As a result, I have, in the last month or so, gotten questionnaires from both political parties and other groups on both sides and have found it very interesting.  The questionnaires for both sides claim that they want you to return them, even if you don't send a contribution, but the wording of the questions is so slanted that it cannot be true that they are really interested in the answers.  When all of the answers favoring "their side" have positively worded phrasing and all of the potential answers that might be for the "other side" are negatively charged, you know they are just trying to get you to agree with them - and send money. Both sides are guilty.  The only thing they are really interested in is your money.

It is discouraging to me that this is the level of discourse relating to the very important task of governing the United States.  We don't talk fairly or in depth about issues, we just slant everything our way and try to trump up more fear of the other side.  And it works.  I am as polarized as anyone.  I almost automatically reject with suspicion anything proposed by the "other side".   Personally, given the very real laws passed by Republican state legislatures, I feel my suspicions are completely justified.  I just wish that I counted, even if I don't have money to give. 

Thus, I say to both parties and to anyone else with a political agenda:  if you really want my opinion, you have to send me a questionnaire that absolutely does NOT ask for money at the end of it.  And, it would be great if you actually had reasonable answers that might differ slightly from the party line.  Or, even leave room for real answers from the people you are questioning.  I know it is your job to keep asking for money, but I don't make much money and I can't support all the causes I would like to. But I do have significant ideas.

It is a shame that only money talks. 

Damage to Possessions

They are just things, but when they are damaged, somehow I feel as though I am damaged a little, too.

A couple of days ago, when I was backing out of a parking space, I turned too quickly and backed into another parked car.  I caused about $2000 damage to my car and probably at least that much to his.  It makes me feel very stupid to have done this.  I was careless.  I suppose it happened, in part, because I was very tired, but really, it was just basically stupid. 

The weirdest thing about it, though, is that I feel that, even though it was just my car that was damaged and I am completely fine, I still feel damaged myself.  I feel almost as though the hurt of my car is a physical hurt for me, too.  I am damaged a bit, too - mentally, but almost even bodily.

I am too close to my possessions.   

The Power of Silence

There is a poster that is making the rounds on Facebook,   Talking.  
It says:  

"TALKING (verb): Your mouth is moving and there is any kind of sound coming out. This includes talking to yourself, talking to somebody else, whispering, singing, or sound effects."

I replied to the posting:
It always astonishes me that some kids seem totally unaware that they can be heard, talking all of the time. I have taken to telling the younger ones (I start subbing 3rd grade up), that they should learn to talk inside their heads and not out loud.

I have had this conversation with far too many kids:
Me: Would everyone stop talking for a minute and listen to these instructions.
Kid: Yes. (Kid continues talking to his neighbor.)
Me: That includes you.
Kid: Yes, I know. I was just telling him .........
Me: Do you know what STOP talking means?
Kid: Yes, I was just telling him ......
Me: (Thinking: Should the whole class just wait for you to tell him about your ....?) 

I have asked before why it is that kids can't seem to keep quiet for ANY length of time any more.  Then someone followed up, saying that adults have the same problem.  And, now that I think of it, many do.  

The question is WHY?  Why are we so unable to keep silent?  I should note, that not all people are afflicted with this problem.  Some of the kids in the classrooms I sub in seldom say anything.  Some adults that I see, for instance, at games nights, seldom say much.  But, by far the larger number of people are more talkative than not.  And, I am, unfortunately, including myself.  I remember being at a teacher workshop with a friend.  We were required to attend a session that each of us could have easily taught ourselves.  We had gone over the material many, many times in the course of our work.  So, what did we do to keep ourselves amused?  We whispered jokes to each other during the training session.

Thus, one of the reasons for the abhorrence of keeping quiet: boredom or the activity of busy brains when outside stimuli aren't as interesting as internal ones.  

But, I think there is more to it than that.  It seems, as a culture, we have gotten so used to sound that we almost require it in order to feel comfortable.  People leave the TV on, even when no one is watching it, just so that there is some background noise.  Same with radio.  When people are out running or exercising in the weight room, they often have earplugs in their ears and are listening to something.  There are even a few people who have waterproof sound systems that they can listen to when they are swimming.  Restaurants and elevators have background music.  

Recently, my music teacher recommended that I listen to more music - music of all types.  I need to listen to more music to discover things that I like about various songs and types of music, so that I can incorporate some of them into the music that I am writing.  She is right, but I am reluctant and stubborn.

See, I have discovered that I like silence.  I like how my mind can wander around over all of the things I might want to think about - without the distraction of background noise.  Silence has the power to let me think.  To think my own thoughts and to figure out the world.  

True, not everything I think about is profound - or even interesting, but it is interesting to me.  I currently find it more interesting than the various types of music I should be listening to.  And, it isn't as though I am completely without music.  I often am singing one of my own songs as I work and think.  Lately, I am feeling very selfish.  I like my own thoughts - and I like the power of silence around me.

 

Letter to Designers of Airport Restrooms

Dear Airport Restroom Designer:

If you have taken an airplane recently, you know that airlines charge extra to check luggage.  This has led to much longer loading times, since people are bringing much of their luggage on board the airplane.  What you may not have realized is that this and the concept of differences of anatomy for the different genders also affect the logistics of designing the restrooms.

First of all, I assume that you notice that there are frequently both a line and an amorphous blob of people waiting outside of the women's restrooms.  The line is for the women waiting to use the facilities; the blob is the group of men and boys waiting for the women and girls to use the facilities.  There is virtually never a line or an amorphous blob near the entrance to the men's facilities.  This is where you should learn that there is a difference between equality and equity.  Due to an unreasonable desire for symmetry and "fairness", the facilities for men and women generally take up equal amounts of floor space in the design of the airport.  This is not reasonable.  You see, men and women use the facilities differently.  Women ALWAYS use the stalls.  Men do not.  Women generally have to do a bit of undressing to use the facilities (which is slower).  Men have minimal needs for that.  Therefore, when you design the restrooms for airports (and other public spaces, actually), the facilities for the women need to occupy MORE room than the facilities for men.  How much more?  I am not sure, but certainly you can do some research.  My guess is that a 2:1 ratio would improve things vastly.

Secondly, the aforementioned luggage problem.  Due to increased security concerns, no one can leave their luggage unattended.  Since many people travel alone with a roller bag and another carry on, they need to take these items with them into the restroom stalls.  Maneuvering the roller bag and the additional carry on into these narrow stalls requires significant agility and planning.  Additionally, it is frequently the woman who takes her young children with her into the restroom.  Try fitting a toddler, an infant, a diaper bag, and a purse with you in one stall - without dropping any of them.  Ever wonder why the handicapped stalls are seldom empty?  It is because people actually have room to bring their luggage and/or children in with them without needing acrobatic skills.  Thus, my second recommendation is that you STOP following the example of the airlines.  They are making the airplane seats narrower and shallower.  This leads to cramped and grumpy passengers.  Please stop making the toilet stalls narrower and shallower.  We really do not want to pee on our luggage (or our children).  This leads to cramped, grumpy, and slightly smelly passengers.

Additionally, it would help if there were a visible indication that a stall is occupied.  This means something like what used to be available on stall doors: when you locked the door, a red occupied sign appeared.  Otherwise, people have to resort to looking under the stall doors for shoes, which seems rather voyeur-ish.  Knocking on the door is alarming to the occupant and is a bit aggressive.  It also hard to tell which door is being knocked on, so, rather than reply, the occupant often just prays the door closure mechanism will stay closed.   

You are doing better with the design of sinks, mirrors, and faucets.  I would like to advise you, though, that people would rather leave with wet hands than spend tedious time with the blow dryers.  There need to be better choices.  Personally, I still prefer paper, though I know that it is wasteful.  It is quick and thorough.  Too bad the cloth rollers are so expensive.  They were nice.

Finally, I know this isn't part of the design, but perhaps you could convince the airports to purchase soap for the dispensers that is relatively odor-free.  In the interests of hygiene we need to use soap to wash our hands, but the smelly, cheap soaps make us nauseous for an hour after use, so many of us skip them.

Your considerations of these suggestions is appreciated.

Sincerely,
Female Airport Traveler

Favorite Books

This meme came on my news feed on Facebook today:  

In your status, list 10 books that have stayed with you in some way (they don't have to be the "right" book, or great books of literature, just books that have affected you). 

It made me think of this: I was subbing for a 6th/7th grade teacher on Monday and the assignment was to have the students list 5 - 8 of their favorite books and to tell why they added them to the list. While the students were at their specials classes, I wrote up my own response to this and enjoyed thinking about why they were on my list. So here is a bit of what I was thinking on Monday.


1) Ender's Game. This book has to rank as one of my all time favorites. I am fascinated by gifted children, schools, and moral dilemmas and this book has all three. Both adults and children have to confront their demons.

2 and 3) Native Tongue and The Judas Rose. Focusing on women's issues and linguistics, this book also touches on things that deeply affect me. While not a school environment per se, the methods of learning and constructing languages are intriguing to me.
 
4) Anne of Green Gables. This is a comfort book for me. Whenever I long for a simpler, and simply GOOD story, I turn to this book. It soothes me to see people striving to know each other and to live well.
 
5) Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. Yes, the British version. Again, there are some of my favorite elements - gifted kids, schools, and moral dilemmas. There is also the added linguistic/historical element with the names of places, spells, and characters.
 
6) Diary of a Wombat. I take this book with me when I sub. It is accessible to young children with the simple humor, and the unfamiliar animal intrigues them. Older children understand more of the sardonic humor of a different viewpoint that turns the tables on humans.
 
7) Infinity Hold. This book takes me away from familiar themes into the realm of moral dilemmas that are society-wide. The idea that there can be vastly different approaches to law was/is appealing to me.
 
8) The Hobbit. I taught this book once and the teaching of it opened my eyes to a structure that I had missed - the alternating chapters of light and humor with those of dark and dangerous events. Since I am not fond of dark and dangerous, the light and humorous parts make the whole journey more satisfying - a respite.
 
9) It's a Magical World. Gifted child dealing with life; large cat, what's not to like? One of the best cartoons ever.
 
10) Dealing with Dragons. I wrote a musical about this one. Feminism, tongue-in-cheek humor.

Supreme Court Buffer Zone Ruling

This is the thing I keep thinking about the SCOTUS ruling about buffer zones. You aren't infringing on someone's speech to require them to do so at a certain distance from a public passage - they can still speak as much as they want. If the person passing through wants to hear, they can, of their own volition, walk towards the people who are speaking. What you are doing is REQUIRING the person passing through to listen, since we can't turn off our ears. There is, however, NO requirement in the constitution that we have to listen to what someone is saying.  By doing away with the buffer zone, they are essentially requiring someone to listen.

Furthermore, you are NOT guaranteed an audience or forum for your speech by the constitution. A newspaper is NOT required to publish anything you wish to say. You are not allowed to address people in any public place that you want. Even libraries have rules about speech.  If you have something you wish to say, it is your job to make sure that people want to listen to you.  No one should be required to listen. 

Money and Politics

From my little corner of the US, I am sadly very discouraged about the current state of American politics.  The huge corporations and moneyed industries enjoy huge influence on the directions that laws take.  People without endless pockets of money get shafted over and over again.  The only hope we lesser people have of influencing policy and law is through banding together and voting, but even that hope is constantly eroding, due to gerrymandering, political advertising designed to confuse voters, and conflating religion into issues that it should remain separate from.

I contribute to progressive causes, feminist causes, and environmental causes.  Since I make very little money as a substitute teacher, I shouldn't even contribute as much as I already do.  But even with these progressive causes, it isn't my opinion that counts, it is my money.  They count contributors; they count contributions.  They pretend to count opinion, but even with the progressive fund raisers, they don't really care about your opinion, they just want your money.

A while back, I vowed that I would contribute money to any of the causes that I already support, if they sent me ONE chance to sign their petitions WITHOUT also asking for money.  So far, I haven't had to pay up.  They have a minor interest in numbers of signers - the more signers, the more people get on the bandwagon.  But what they really are interested in is the money.

Always the money.

Supreme Court

No, I haven't read the rulings and I don't know all of the details, but I am truly disgusted at the Supreme Court's recent rulings in regard to women's health care.

1) The elimination of the buffer zones around clinics.  The Supreme Court has its own buffer zone.  These clinics have been the target of significant amounts of violence, including murder.  Police have been unable to keep staff and visitors to the clinics safe.  The buffer zones were workable help.  Surely the protesters are still allowed to protest, but there is no guarantee in the first amendment that people have to listen.  Nor should the physical safety of the staff and visitors be so blatantly threatened.  Buffer zones exist in other circumstances as well.  This was a bad decision.

2) Hobby Lobby and contraceptives.  I don't want employers to be deciding on women's health care.  Period.  As Ruth Bader Ginsburg has said, this is a very slippery slope.  Additional questions:  So, is it now legal to ask potential employers what their personal beliefs on birth control are?  Will they be required to disclose to applicants that their insurance policies are incomplete?  

"Still, according to studies from Columbia University and New York University, closely held corporations employed 52 percent of the American workforce and accounted for slightly more than half -- 51 percent -- of economic output from the private sector." 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/.../a-lot-of-people-could.../ 

In other words, over half of the American workforce could be affected by this decision.  

I am disgusted. 
__________________________________

Addendum:  I am still disgusted, but I also need to add that I am alarmed at how rapidly this "narrow" decision has widened.  There are supposedly 149 cases already pending that the lower courts will be allowed to use this ruling to determine.  These cases encompass not only the birth control methods objected to in the Hobby Lobby case, but additional methods and even ALL types of birth control.  This could be a major disaster for women.