Biggest Mistake

This is going to be a very personal post, so if you are only interested in general observations, this one isn't for you.

Many years ago, when I was 15, I spent the summer at the Foreign Language League program in Mayrhofen, Austria.  I loved learning a foreign language and I was good at it.  So, the following year, with the support of my parents, I applied for and was accepted as a foreign student with Youth for Understanding.  I spent my year, which was actually closer to 14 months, in Germany with a family of three girls and had a wonderful year.

My American parents were conservative Republicans.  They were supporters of the war in Vietnam.  They voted Republican in virtually every election.  My maternal grandparents were also religious and staunchly Republican.  I even got to see some of the Republican presidential candidates when they came to Iowa.  Politics isn't really my thing, but what I heard growing up was mainly Republican rhetoric and Methodist religion.

I have also enjoyed singing for most of my life.  I played violin in my high school orchestra and in the Des Moines All-City orchestra.  Like most teenagers, I also listened to popular music.  One of the popular songs at the time was The Ballad of the Green Beret - a very pro-soldier, pro-war song.  Imagine my surprise, when I found out that the song had been translated into German, but in German was a very anti-war song.

The family that I lived with wasn't wealthy.  The father was a baker and the mother worked in the bakery.  But, interestingly, they were much better informed about politics than I was.  They actually discussed politics and important news events among themselves.  Reading the newspaper and discussing its contents were regular parts of the day.  They weren't religious, although some of them were members of the church (you had to sign a formal document withdrawing from church, otherwise you were deemed a member of the church).

So, I discovered that interested and informed people could have completely different opinions about the world situation.  I discovered that good and moral people didn't have to attend church to maintain their righteousness. 

After I returned to the United States and went to college, I tried briefly to be religious again, but my politics had changed.  I was no longer a Republican and I protested the Vietnamese War.  And over the many intervening years, I have remained much, much more liberal than most of my family and I am now non-religious - close to being a secular humanist.

It was a big shock to me a couple of years ago that my mother told me that sending me to Germany was the biggest mistake she had made in raising me.  I was too young, too vulnerable, too easily swayed to the "other side".  I understand that she disagrees with my liberal positions and especially my support for the Democratic party, but I have long since been an adult and to think still that I have been brainwashed by my experience in Germany makes me feel as though I am being seen as a child - incapable of making my own decisions in a reasonable manner.

I feel that my year in Germany was one of the best years of my life.  It was a turning point in helping me understand other cultures and other people.  It was a turning point in understanding myself - or at least an important beginning.

I am very sorry she regrets that I had this wonderful experience.  It feels very much like rejection to me.  And it is too late to salve it over.  My mother is now 98 years old and suffering from dementia - but she wasn't when she made those hurtful statements. 

Reciting the Pledge Every Day

This is a duplicate from one of my other blogs, but I think it is relevant here, too, so I am reposting.  

As a substitute teacher, I get to visit many different classrooms in many different schools.  In many of these schools the students are given the “opportunity” to say the Pledge of Allegiance every day, usually at a designated time announced over the intercom.  This gives me the chance to observe what children of many ages do when reciting the Pledge.  Most stand; most put their hand over their heart – until you get to middle school and then the hand starts to sink lower and lower, until, in high school, it is much closer to the top of their chair.  Most say the Pledge.  Some just mumble in the correct rhythm.

I think reciting the pledge every day actually leads to complete disregard of its meaning. I am pretty sure that most of the younger students have NO IDEA what they are saying or why. And the older ones, who should have a clue, just mumble so that they appear to be patriotic, but they are really not thinking about it at all.

Yes, they do learn the words.  But I much prefer mindfulness in this regard.  If you are going to say the Pledge, you need to say it in circumstances where you are actually thinking about what you are saying.  It is much like the idea of praying for me.  If it isn’t done mindfully, it isn’t worth the time spent.

I stand, but I don’t say the Pledge.  I don’t say it, in order to respect those people whose beliefs don’t allow them to say it.  I don’t say it, because my mind is actually elsewhere, making sure the students are being respectful.  I don’t say it, because I don’t accept the inclusion of the “Under God” clause.

On the other hand, I love singing the national anthem.  Part of that is because I like to sing, but part of it is because I do so rarely enough that I can really think about what it means.

Campaign against PDR - Public Displays of Religion

I am not religious. I have a core set of beliefs, mostly having to do with moral and ethical behavior. I also believe in the power of science and logic.

Given that, I must admit, I am increasingly uncomfortable with PDR - public displays of religion. I dislike the "in my face" aspect of it. My feelings about this are very much akin to my feelings about PDA - public displays of affection. I enjoy my own private displays of affection. I am comfortable with other people's private expressions of religious beliefs. But I am increasingly annoyed at people's public expressions of religion. Why do people insist on inflicting their religious experiences on the general public?

Not About Religion

There is a small part of me that thinks that what this country needs is more progressive women in politics and that I have the time now in my life to get more involved.  But there are two things I lack that seem to be required: a lot of money and a religion.  I can see the following dialog:

Reporter:  I can see from your Facebook account that you state as your religion "none".  I take it from that that you are not a Christian.

Me: I feel that my religious views should not be part of this campaign.  Do you have other questions for me?

Reporter:  Are you a Muslim or a Jew or an Atheist?

Me: I feel that my religious views should not be part of this campaign.  Do you have other questions for me?

Reporter:  Do you support prayer in the schools?

Me:  People can pray whenever and wherever they want, as long as it doesn't involve innocent bystanders.  It can be a completely private activity.  Do you have other questions for me?

And so on.

And the money thing is a problem, too.  My husband has a job, but I don't.  You can't get elected to anything these days without money.  Sigh.

Guess I will remain an unknown.